Do I have a fulfilling life?
Challenge the illusion that money solves fulfillment. Prioritize enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose for lasting happiness. Explore, embrace, and reflect on the elements shaping a fulfilling life.
Money is never the solution. "If only I had more money", is the easiest way to postpone creating a life of enjoyment now and not later. It's an illusion. The problem is more than money. - Tim Ferris
When I teach, my students and I often talk about a wide variety of subjects. Sometimes we talk about the strangest things, like colonizing Mars or coming up with solutions for geopolitics, and so on. But now and then we reach very basic, day-to-day, important topics.
This was the case not too long ago when we talked about my student's job and how (un)happy she was in her current position. How she evaluated all the different parts of her life and searched for ways to reach more fulfillment in these respective areas.
She specifically avoided the term happiness and chose resolutely for the term fulfillment. Now she is looking for ways out of her current job in the search for a more fulfilling lifestyle.
This conversation made me think about my lifestyle.
Unlike happiness, which is fleeting and difficult to attain, fulfillment is a state of being that is all about accepting who you are, being grateful for what you have, and remaining optimistic about the future.
Lifestyle/noun: How a person lives.
Fulfilling/adjective: Making you feel happy and satisfied.
Happiness is a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose
Happiness is a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. To get happier is to get more of these elements, in a balanced way- not all of one and none of another. But if you were reading closely, you noticed one funny thing about all three: they all have some unhappiness within them. Enjoyment takes work and forgoing pleasures; satisfaction requires sacrifice and doesn't last; purpose almost always entails suffering. Getting happier, in other words, requires that we accept unhappiness in our lives as well, and understanding it isn't an obstacle to our happiness. - Oprah Winfrey, Arthur C brooks, Build the life you want: the art and science of getting happier
I stated before that happiness and fulfillment are different things. Where happiness is fleeting, it comes and goes, and is fulfillment a longer-lasting feeling. I think this is what Oprah Winfrey was referring to instead of happiness, a more lasting happy feeling, better referred to as fulfillment.
Previously, I talked about my goals and my dreams. I am reaching out for them and I'm enjoying every last bit of this journey.
Dries Deconynck
Enjoyment - satisfaction - purpose
In my blog post: 'Do I have a boring life?'. I talk about how I get joy and excitement in my daily life by exploring and discovering new things. From going on little trips to trying out new cafés.
Dries Deconynck
I'm feeling satisfied with my accomplishments, living on the other side of the world with a great work-life balance, doing what I love, with a minimum of stress, and a maximum of adventures. Being able to do some kind of sports every day, eating healthy, having a big variety of fruits everywhere around me available, being able to grow personally and professionally, and learning new skills on the go. Surrounded by people who love and support me, both close by and far away. I feel a lot of purpose and fulfillment in my line of work. I feel valued and get positive feedback.
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way. - Viktor Frankl
My sense of purpose derives from being able to strive for my personal goals and sense of fulfillment. This power or personal empowerment is a key aspect of feeling fulfilled in my life.
Professionally, I have a sense of purpose by helping my students, being able to share my adventures with my blog, and providing people with some information, reflecting on my life, to think and take steps in their own life if they think they need it or want it.
Exploration is scientifically proven to give you a sense of happiness and joy. It is a great way of implementing enjoyment in our lives. Doing what you love will boost your satisfaction. Empowerment, the power to choose, increases the feeling of purpose, but also being able to have an impact in the world. Being able to help people will create a sense of purpose.
Work and forgoing pleasures
To reach a certain state of enjoyment, you need to put in the work, just like for everything in life. It's a leap of faith. Before gaining more enjoyment, followed by a more fulfilling life, you have to be dedicated, and reach out for it.
Personally, I enjoy traveling and exploring a lot. I decided to make my lifestyle out of it. Moving to the other side of the world, exploring new kinds of cultures, languages, and ways of working. Instead of staying in Belgium, working in a school, day in and day out, without much variation.
This wasn't something I could do for the rest of my life. There were personal rewards of course, as a teacher I could help young adults find their way, their place in the world. But it was not enough.
A career is unsustainable, doing something for 8+ hours a day until you break down or have enough money to stop. Where does it end? What do you need to end it? - Tim Ferris
I'd rather risk it all, for a more significant fulfilling lifestyle, something I dreamt of doing. Something more rewarding for me personally in the longer term. Something more durable for me as well. I made the jump, and now on the other side of the world, I haven't felt bored one single day! It is an investment of time and money that I am willing to make.
I realize that I'm not making as much as I would make in Belgium, but the trade off is happiness, fulfillment, and joy. I would choose this over and over again. Also keeping in mind that outside 'the West', money goes a lot further.
The exploration, the online teaching with students who want to learn, the like-minded, positive people that you meet all over the world, and so much more contribute to personal growth and meaningful relationships.
Every single day, I feel like I've accomplished something new. This goes from trying a new local dish, meeting new interesting people, and exploring ancient temples, to helping students from all over the world and being appreciated by them. All of this adds to a deeper and more lasting enjoyment.
This didn't come out of thin air. I've searched for a few months. First for schools, teaching online, my blog, and eventually the online courses. It would've been easier to have stayed in Belgium. The thing is that it would not have been as meaningful for me. Just 'safe', following the commonsense.
But, this common sense is not set in stone. They are just a fragile collection of socially reinforced illusions. An illusion that makes our lives tolerable and comfortable by doing something not necessarily fulfilling. Everything that I'm trying out is what I am interested in, things I want to do. The first month, I only made $13, but the satisfaction derived from the accomplishment was immense. It gave me a sense of enjoyment.
With Stoicism at heart, true enjoyment may come from living by one's values and principles, even if it requires effort and sacrifice.
By building my online endeavor, and creating my traveling lifestyle, I learn new skills and pursue new knowledge and skills daily. Learning how to build a blog was one of them. These new things pushed me to grow both personally and professionally. These small successes give me a profound sense of pride and in turn enjoyment. By doing more of what matters to me, or what I define as fulfilling, I gain more positive emotions.
The concept of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose takes work and may involve forgoing immediate pleasures. But the key thing that I take away from it is the importance of personal growth, meaningful pursuits, and the pursuit of enduring happiness.
Accepting unhappiness
We are used to overcomplicating everything, all the time. It is drilled into our thought processes. But sometimes, life doesn't have to be this hard. We choose to believe it has to be hard. We have spent a lifetime convincing ourselves that life has to be challenging. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? This is a nice example of how our culture rewards personal sacrifices, instead of what we like, or want to do. We settle for the routine grind of a 9-5 job in exchange for some weekends and occasional, short vacations. We desperately need to do more of what matters to us!
Not an obstacle to our happiness
Do more of what matters to you. Try to integrate things that you love into your daily life. You don't have to quit your job to have fulfillment. It can start with small adjustments in your life. Like altering your mindset.
Instead of thinking: 'I have to do this.', you can think: 'I can do this.', or 'I can do this.', or even 'I want to do this.' These small changes will alter your mindset from something that you feel like you have to do, to something you are allowed, or able to do. This will give you more empowerment, which will lead to more positive feelings.
“Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær!” which translates to “There is no bad weather, only bad clothes!” - Norwegian saying
Vicious cycle
Positive emotions boost our energy. This boost in energy will make sure you're more productive, or at least can do more in a day. This will lead, in turn, to feelings of achievement, which will make us feel good all over again!
An educational example: Happy students do not just have higher grades; positive feelings are actually known to support their schoolwork, mindset, and thus, holistic growth.
Let's break the negative cycle together, by doing more of what matters to us, feeling happy, getting more energy, being more productive, and feeling a sense of achievement. This will also reflect in how you interact with people. Your colleagues, peers, friends, and family.