Power

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

I've rambled on about a fulfilling life and how to get it quite a lot already. But I find it very interesting and I hope you do too! Next to play, adventure, and purpose, I want to talk about power. Power is definitely a force to be reckoned with.

I'm not talking about just any power but personal empowerment.

Empowerment: the process of gaining freedom and power to do what you want or to control what happens to you.

Empowerment is something I first learned about in Norway, in one of the classes I took in HVL, Social Studies. Here we talked about women in sweatshops in the Global South, the civil rights movement and the more recent black lives matter movement.

Let's take the example of the women working in sweatshops in the Global South, the example was about Thailand. We learned about the devastating and hopeless living standards, the countless working hours a day, and the shared place where they could sleep for only 50 cents a day.

Nevertheless, the key point to take away is that the women felt empowered even though they lived in these horrible circumstances. Granted they were aware that what they were doing wasn't healthy or that they weren't making big money, but at least they were making some money they said. This act of earning something yourself created already empowerment for them. They could do something for themselves. But it goes further than that. Earning an income made them more independent. They were less dependent on their family and husbands, they had a say in their own lives, could make decisions themselves, etc.

Our first reaction as students in a privileged country was oh poor women. But they felt that they were doing better than before because they were empowered.

This is an example of women in Thailand, but it happens as well in Cambodia, and in many other countries in the Global South. By teaching here, Kiki helps her students learn English, which creates chances and empowers them. She's using her health education syllabus, which focuses on equality and empowerment. In the future, she wants to implement leadership, critical thinking, and confidence training in her classroom.

Why take control

We also need empowerment in our own lives. We need to be able to make decisions of our own, the feeling that we are in control of our own life, and not just lived by others. Like the humans do in the Matrix, thinking they have a life, where in reality, they are just glorified sources of energy. Watch out that you don't become a source of money for the government.

This need to make decisions and have an influence on our own lives is visible from very early in our lives. It's why we want to decorate our bedrooms as children, or our home as adults. When the power of taking action in your life is taken from you, E.g. Prison/job you don't enjoy can have disastrous consequences for physical and mental health. This need for control is also a reason why we hate being micromanaged. I saw this during teacher training as well. Students who have a sense of 'ownership', or empowerment, being able to have a say or make individual choices, are more motivated, tend to work harder and get better results.

Take control

Norwegian saying: there is no bad weather, only bad clothing.

Taking control is not always straightforward. A digital nomad is free to trot around the globe, whilst a hotel receptionist has to stand at the desk to greet and welcome guests. This doesn't mean you can't have ownership if you aren't traveling! There are always ways of empowerment.

When we can't take ownership of the situation, we can still take ownership of the process. Instead of thinking in a negative way of things, like 'Why do I have to do this?', you can turn it around and think instead: 'I choose to do this.', or 'I get to do this.' The phrase 'Have to', makes you feel powerless, you have no say in it. Somebody makes you do it. 'Choose to' indicates autonomy. It makes you feel powerful. Think of the Norwegian saying, you can't change the weather, but you can change the way you think of it.

How I take control

I've built my online classes from the ground up. It is all in my control, I'm swamped with work at the moment and thinking of cutting back some hours. My job is in my control. I've decided to leave Belgium behind and live somewhere else, I choose a traveling lifestyle, and I choose to pursue my dreams. My life is in my hands. I have a lot of plans for the future, first of all traveling through South-East Asia, the long-term goal is to settle in Norway, and in the meantime, I am planning to continue teaching, make online courses, and write this blog. The decisions about my future are mine alone.

The fact that I have control of my own life, that I have empowerment, is a key factor in feeling good. Simply because I want to do this, I know I can do this, I believe in it, and it supports everything I stand for. It also helps with creating everything and being productive. If I don't do it, nobody will do it for me. Being able to live and thrive also means putting the work and effort into it.

How to create personal empowerment

Learning through doing. The more we do something, the greater our sense of control. We learn we level up our skills, our confidence grows and we empower ourselves.

Some research-based, proven benefits of empowerment are if you believe you can do something, you enjoy it more and you are more likely to do it. It's not just our ability that is important it is how we feel about our abilities. Believing you can is the first step to making sure you actually can.

The research conducted on two groups of people states that when the going got tough, those who believed they could do it - regardless of their ability- were the ones who actually could. And crucially, the more confident people enjoyed it more too.

When I started to search for ways of earning money online, I had no idea how or what. Of course, you see influencers telling everyone how easy it is, if you just follow these 5 steps, you'll become a millionaire overnight. It is nothing like that. But as a teacher, you find possibilities. Teaching online isn't such a stretch, as long as you find pupils. When I started this process, I had no certainty that I could teach online, but I believed that I could do it, and trusted in my abilities. Now, after a couple of months, I know I can teach online.

The same happened with my online course. Although the full course isn't ready yet, some modules are, and I have sold some already. I took the same couple of steps. I believe that I can, put in the work and reap the rewards later, building confidence. And most importantly, I enjoy the process, I like to do it, which makes it even more worth it.

The social method

This is when you witness or hear about someone else's performance related to a task that you're going to undertake yourself. You see other people's examples, and it boosts your confidence. In other words, if you surround yourself with other people who show persistence and effort in overcoming challenges can increase your feelings of self-efficacy, because they show us that these challenges can be overcome. Seeing people similar to oneself succeed through sustained effort raises observers' beliefs that they too possess the capabilities to succeed. If they can, you can too.

This method works for everything it's not only work-related. Back in Norway, the first time I climbed Ulriken, the highest mountain near Bergen, I had a hard time reaching the top. If you climb this mountain, you climb a giant stairway. We climbed it when it was snowing, and very windy and I had a hard time. But I wasn't alone, the others were also struggling. I think if any of us had done the climb alone, for the first time, in those conditions, we as individuals wouldn't have made it, or just barely. But the group pushed each other to the top. If they can do it, I can do it!

Summary

Empowerment, or being able to choose and make decisions in your life, job, future,... Building confidence is a great way to start, level up your skills by doing, and take ownership. Choose how you work on it, choose how you stand in life. What is the worst that can happen? The timing is never right, just do it and correct course along the way.